thinking about blogging, jk
what should I write? lol
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
A time in my life when I was not happy
I am a generally happy person, but life isn't always wonderful. I really do love my life but sometimes there are disappointments. A time that I can remember being unhappy involved someone that I love very much. I thought of this person as a role model & I was very close with this person. This person in my eyes was so great but then this person disappointed me. At first it was shocking because I never thought that this person could make a mistake. Then I thought about it & said we all make mistakes, were only human. I convinced myself that this person didn't mean to hurt me & that it was only an accident. But I was quite disappointed & tried to overlook the fact that I was hurt but couldn't. But then it happened again, I was even more crushed the second time because I convinced myself it wouldn't happen again & that it was an accident. I learned this person wasn't who I thought they were, I held them at a higher standard & thought they were something that they weren't. I was young at the time & naive. I didn't realize that looks can be deceiving, the person that I idolized had many flaws & was not a good role model at all. This person was the opposite of everything that I once thought. This person ended up being an angry person & everything that I saw was a facade. It was all a phony act. This person had many problems & it all came as a surprise to me because I believed what I saw on the exterior but emotionally this person was unstable & unhappy. It was very upsetting & I was upset with myself for not knowing, but the truth was that I was too young to know. I find that when I see this person rarely all the hurt & disappointment I had when I was a child comes back. I feel bad because it wasn't the persons fault it was mine. I was wrong about that person, I didn't know the truth. Truth is nobody is perfect & I am not mad at this person I feel bad for her. She had a hard life & that is why she is the way she is. No one should judge her, I was just devastated being so young, naive & disappointed to know that she wasn't who I thought she was.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Inspiration
My grandfather Richard inspires me because he overcame many obstacles in his life. He grew up very poor & was forced to start working at a very young age. When he was only ten he had several jobs including shoe shining & helping out his father, who owned a barber shop. His father always told him that he wanted him to go to college & become a police officer. It was his fathers dream & he wanted his son to be prosperous & live his dream. But that was not what my grandfather wanted to pursue, his dream was to become a famous singer. In his free time my grandfather would go to sing at clubs, where he became widely known. One day at the club he was approached with a record deal, but he declined. My grandfather would have agreed but he knew that was not what his father wanted. So my grandfather continued going to school & attempted to balance his several jobs & singing at the club. After graduating college my grandfather was forced to leave all his dreams of stardom behind him, he joined the army & went to war to fight for our country. After several years he returned home from war. He had a story to tell & war really changed him. He had a new outlook on life & really a new appreciation for life. He decided that he wouldn't waste any time so he started working in Brooklyn as a police officer, although it wasn't a career he really wanted he ended up liking it. His days of becoming famous were over but the officers found out he was a singer & they asked to sing at the police functions. After singing at several police functions it seemed like everyone knew who he was. My grandfather is now widely known in Brooklyn as the handsome & talented police officer. Even though he is retired everyone knows his name. His fathers dream came true, his son became a prosperous police officer & my grandfather got to sing at functions which some what satisfied him. Although my grandfather was doing very well as far as making money he is still the same person, the little boy who worked several jobs to help his family, he is & always will be poor at heart. He said:"No matter how much money I have in my pocket I will always be poor in my heart." I have no idea what he has been through, he really struggled & worked so hard to help out. That is why my grandfather is my inspiration. He has seen just about everything life has to bring & I have learned so much from him. He has truly changed my life & made it so much better.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
my favorites
1. What is your favorite word?
Love. I know a lot of people think its corny but in my opinion it is the best word when used properly. If someone says they love you & they mean it, its the most wonderful feeling.
2. What is your least favorite word?
Hate. Its a mean word & can really hurt if someone says that to you. The complete opposite of love.
3. What turns you on, excites, or inspires you creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
I would say that my boyfriend, my best friends & family inspire me & makes me very happy.
4. What turns you off?
Cockiness. I cant stand a person who is conceited & too proud.
5. What sound or noise do you love?
I love hearing people sing (people than can actually sing well lol). It puts me in a tranquil mood. I love hearing a choir warm up, its the most beautiful sound, in my opinion.
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Screaming. It is a very scary noise & usually means something is wrong.
7. What is your favorite curse word?
B*tch... lol... long story here's a short interpretation. I just love the way certain people say it.( I don't want this to come off the wrong way) I don't like when people use this word in a negative way. I love when they use it in a harmless way: example the song gimme more by Britney Spears I love how she says: it's Britney B*tch lol.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I would love to become famous; sing & act.
9. What profession would you absolutely not like to participate in?
The medical field, it is an important field but I am not mentally strong enough to participate in that profession. It just is not for me, it would never work.
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Come in. You were a good person & you may enter.
Love. I know a lot of people think its corny but in my opinion it is the best word when used properly. If someone says they love you & they mean it, its the most wonderful feeling.
2. What is your least favorite word?
Hate. Its a mean word & can really hurt if someone says that to you. The complete opposite of love.
3. What turns you on, excites, or inspires you creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
I would say that my boyfriend, my best friends & family inspire me & makes me very happy.
4. What turns you off?
Cockiness. I cant stand a person who is conceited & too proud.
5. What sound or noise do you love?
I love hearing people sing (people than can actually sing well lol). It puts me in a tranquil mood. I love hearing a choir warm up, its the most beautiful sound, in my opinion.
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Screaming. It is a very scary noise & usually means something is wrong.
7. What is your favorite curse word?
B*tch... lol... long story here's a short interpretation. I just love the way certain people say it.( I don't want this to come off the wrong way) I don't like when people use this word in a negative way. I love when they use it in a harmless way: example the song gimme more by Britney Spears I love how she says: it's Britney B*tch lol.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I would love to become famous; sing & act.
9. What profession would you absolutely not like to participate in?
The medical field, it is an important field but I am not mentally strong enough to participate in that profession. It just is not for me, it would never work.
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Come in. You were a good person & you may enter.
Monday, September 22, 2008
The last farewell
A caravan of mourners arrive.
Everyone gathers around the grave, though they do not acknowledge each other, it is after all a solemn occasion.
My friends, my family, my child & even my enemies bid farewell one last time.
Dozens of red roses lie neatly beside the grave, where the priest is now silent.
Each person steps forward, picks up a rose & tosses it on the grave.
It is horribly cold.
Snow lies scattered in patches on the ground.
Beneath the dirt is half frozen.
The priest waves his hand over the coffin in the traditional catholic gesture.
The priest begins the eulogy.
None of the mourners are listening.
Each are thinking of their own private memories.
One person remembers the bad times.
Another is filled with tears thinking of loving memories.
My child goes through the motions of the ceremony because it is what is expected of her.
If she could hear my thoughts I would plead with her not to be harsh with her memories: being weak, fallible, therefore human.
The service is over.
The grave diggers are left to lower the coffin.
The crowd starts to drift away & I want to yell after them: Hold your tears, for I feel no pain.
My body wrapped in this wooden cocoon is no longer a part of me.
My soul has separated & risen above it, hopefully to someplace easier & better.
I float higher & higher.
Bless me father for I have sinned...
Everyone gathers around the grave, though they do not acknowledge each other, it is after all a solemn occasion.
My friends, my family, my child & even my enemies bid farewell one last time.
Dozens of red roses lie neatly beside the grave, where the priest is now silent.
Each person steps forward, picks up a rose & tosses it on the grave.
It is horribly cold.
Snow lies scattered in patches on the ground.
Beneath the dirt is half frozen.
The priest waves his hand over the coffin in the traditional catholic gesture.
The priest begins the eulogy.
None of the mourners are listening.
Each are thinking of their own private memories.
One person remembers the bad times.
Another is filled with tears thinking of loving memories.
My child goes through the motions of the ceremony because it is what is expected of her.
If she could hear my thoughts I would plead with her not to be harsh with her memories: being weak, fallible, therefore human.
The service is over.
The grave diggers are left to lower the coffin.
The crowd starts to drift away & I want to yell after them: Hold your tears, for I feel no pain.
My body wrapped in this wooden cocoon is no longer a part of me.
My soul has separated & risen above it, hopefully to someplace easier & better.
I float higher & higher.
Bless me father for I have sinned...
Saturday, September 20, 2008
dio come ti amo-god how much I love you
Luciana & John had been together for 20 years. They had their share of fights but their love seemed to be endless. Sadly, John was notified that he had to go overseas to fight for his country. Luciana understood the importance of her husband fighting for their country but she could not bare the thought of something happening to him. She knew it was something that he had to do, so she had to learn to be optimistic & go with the flow. Luciana tried to make the best of the last days with her husband. It just seemed so devastating to know that her husband was going away & may never come back. She was so worried. Although she never told him how she felt, he knew. But it was something he had to do, in honor of his country. The next day John left. His parting words to his wife were:"dio come ti amo." which mean:god how much I love you in Italian. Luciana was so affected by his words, she would never forget him & his words. She also knew that he meant what he said & she felt the same. Luciana felt as though her life was no longer worth living. She fell into a deep depression, which she did not expect. Although the days seem to pass ever so slowly in Luciana's mind, she seemed to recuperating. After a month Luciana slowly moved on with her life & was adjusting. Although she did worry that she had not heard from him, but she remained positive. Several months had passed & still no word on John. She wasn't panicking, she was actually very calm. She had met a man named Carmine at the grocery store, he asked her out on a date & she said yes. They seemed to have a lot in common & she wanted to get John off her mind, so it seemed like a great idea. Although it had only been a few months Luciana had given up hope on John returning. She went on several dates with Carmine & they seemed to really hit it off. After 3 months they decided to get married, Luciana was elated with her new husband. It had been a year since John had went away, she never heard from him & just assumed he would never return. On a Sunday afternoon Luciana received a call saying that John was in critical condition & would not make it. She was in shock. Her whole day was ruined, she could not believe that he was alive all this time & now he was dying. Carmine tried to console her but it only made her feel even worse, she felt guilty she found love with someone else & had given up hope on John. After several hours of sobbing the door bell rang. Carmine answered it, it was John. Carmine knew right away but John had no idea who Carmine was. They got acquainted & John was devastated that Luciana moved on. John was so frustrated he was fighting the war with Luciana on his mind, he was going to make it home to her & then everything would be worth while. But she didn't wait for him, his fear became a reality. He lashed out breaking everything in sight. Luciana heard the noise & ran downstairs to see what was all the commotion. When she saw John she fainted, she could not believe her eyes. She woke up & realized that it was all a dream.
how cliche`
Here are some of my favorites lyrics from my favorite artists & have put it together to create a poem out of it:
I know there’s something in the wake of your smile, I get a notion from the look in your eyes. you’ve built a love but that love falls apart your little piece of heaven turns too dark. Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you, there’s nothing else you can do. I don’t know where you’re going and I don’t know why but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye. Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worth while the precious moments are all lost in the tide, they’re swept away and nothing is what is seems. The feeling of belonging to your dreams. (DHT)
I heard he sang a lullaby, I heard he sang it from his heart. When I found out thought I would die, because that lullaby was mine. I heard he sealed it with a kiss, he gently kissed her cherry lips. I found that so hard to believe, because his kiss belonged to me (Toni Braxton) I know that when you look at me theres so much that you just dont see. But if you would only take the time, I know in my heart youd find a girl whos scared sometimes who isnt always strong. Cant you see the hurt in me? I feel so all alone (W.Houston)
I'll be so alone without you, maybe you'll be lonesome too. Maybe You'll be lonesome too and blue (bob dylan)
I never had to say goodbye, you must have known I wouldn't stay. While you were talking about our life. You killed the beauty of today forever and ever. Life is now or never. Forever never comes around. Forever's gonna slow you down. You'll never see me again. So now who's gonna cry for you? You'll never see me again. No matter what you do. (September)
I know there’s something in the wake of your smile, I get a notion from the look in your eyes. you’ve built a love but that love falls apart your little piece of heaven turns too dark. Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you, there’s nothing else you can do. I don’t know where you’re going and I don’t know why but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye. Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worth while the precious moments are all lost in the tide, they’re swept away and nothing is what is seems. The feeling of belonging to your dreams. (DHT)
I heard he sang a lullaby, I heard he sang it from his heart. When I found out thought I would die, because that lullaby was mine. I heard he sealed it with a kiss, he gently kissed her cherry lips. I found that so hard to believe, because his kiss belonged to me (Toni Braxton) I know that when you look at me theres so much that you just dont see. But if you would only take the time, I know in my heart youd find a girl whos scared sometimes who isnt always strong. Cant you see the hurt in me? I feel so all alone (W.Houston)
I'll be so alone without you, maybe you'll be lonesome too. Maybe You'll be lonesome too and blue (bob dylan)
I never had to say goodbye, you must have known I wouldn't stay. While you were talking about our life. You killed the beauty of today forever and ever. Life is now or never. Forever never comes around. Forever's gonna slow you down. You'll never see me again. So now who's gonna cry for you? You'll never see me again. No matter what you do. (September)
Dangerous thoughts
My name is Janette Di Sposa.
I am a 28 year old female from Italy & this is my story:
It was a Monday night, I got home from work very late.
I was extremely tired & went straight to bed.
I closed my eyes & thoughts came rushing to my mind.
Unpleasant thoughts try to take over.
I try to brush them aside.
But these foul thoughts take over my mind & body & I fall into a new world.
I open my eyes & look at my new horrifying surroundings.
It is by far the scariest place.
I think its a nightmare, but I realize that I am not dreaming.
I pinch myself, which verifies this is reality.
I am surrounded by darkness & scary creatures.
I do not know what to do.
I attempt to look for an exit but only find things that frighten me.
A scary creature that seems to some what resemble a man & bear stares at me.
I try not to pay any attention to it but he approaches me.
He asks what I am doing here & where did I come from.
I told him I had no idea what happened, one minuted I was in my bedroom & then I ended up in this place.
He said that he would help me.
I made the mistake of trusting him, I should have known better.
He took me to a hidden castle.
He told me to stay in this very dark room & that he would be back in a few minutes.
After several hours I realized I had made a mistake by trusting him.
But it was too late to think of what I could have & should have done.
I got myself in this predicament & I needed to find a solution.
I found a window & attempted to break it.
As I was escaping an army of creatures notice me & chase after me.
They catch me & lock me up in this dungeon.
I have been stuck in here for days now I don't know if I will ever make it out of here.
I found this paper & I am writing this in my lip pencil.
In case I don't make it I wanted to write down what happened to me in hopes that someone reads this.
I just ask one favor, please tell my family that I love them & do not feel sorry for me.
Unfortunate things happen & I want them to live their lives to the fullest.
Never take life for granted, enjoy every day as if it is your last.
I am a 28 year old female from Italy & this is my story:
It was a Monday night, I got home from work very late.
I was extremely tired & went straight to bed.
I closed my eyes & thoughts came rushing to my mind.
Unpleasant thoughts try to take over.
I try to brush them aside.
But these foul thoughts take over my mind & body & I fall into a new world.
I open my eyes & look at my new horrifying surroundings.
It is by far the scariest place.
I think its a nightmare, but I realize that I am not dreaming.
I pinch myself, which verifies this is reality.
I am surrounded by darkness & scary creatures.
I do not know what to do.
I attempt to look for an exit but only find things that frighten me.
A scary creature that seems to some what resemble a man & bear stares at me.
I try not to pay any attention to it but he approaches me.
He asks what I am doing here & where did I come from.
I told him I had no idea what happened, one minuted I was in my bedroom & then I ended up in this place.
He said that he would help me.
I made the mistake of trusting him, I should have known better.
He took me to a hidden castle.
He told me to stay in this very dark room & that he would be back in a few minutes.
After several hours I realized I had made a mistake by trusting him.
But it was too late to think of what I could have & should have done.
I got myself in this predicament & I needed to find a solution.
I found a window & attempted to break it.
As I was escaping an army of creatures notice me & chase after me.
They catch me & lock me up in this dungeon.
I have been stuck in here for days now I don't know if I will ever make it out of here.
I found this paper & I am writing this in my lip pencil.
In case I don't make it I wanted to write down what happened to me in hopes that someone reads this.
I just ask one favor, please tell my family that I love them & do not feel sorry for me.
Unfortunate things happen & I want them to live their lives to the fullest.
Never take life for granted, enjoy every day as if it is your last.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Not the typical happily ever after story
The End.
And they did not live happily ever after.
These two lovers would not see another day.
They tried to get out of the way but it was too late their fate was already determined.
The truck seemed to be getting closer, because the noise was getting louder.
They heard a truck coming closer to them although they could not see it.
They walked down a winding road fearful of what could happen to them, they both knew it was very dangerous but they didn't care because they had each other.
It was so dark outside that they could not really see where they were going.
After their romantic day was over they walked home.
After several hours of talking, they realized they were so compatible & meant to be together.
They decided to celebrate being newlyweds with a romantic walk in the park followed by a picnic.
Since they both agreed that they were meant to be together forever they got married instantly.
Everything seemed to be so perfect & they knew the second they locked eyes they were meant to be together, forever.
When Antonella & Micheal first met each other the sky was blue & the weather was beautiful.
They dated many people but none of those relationships were what they hoped for & dreamed of.
They seemed perfect for each other.
Nothing else seemed to matter to them.
Their wedding day seemed to be the most important day of their lives.
Since Micheal was a child he knew what type of ring he would give his bride & what color suit he would wear to his wedding.
She knew what decor she wanted & what dress she & her bridesmaids would wear.
Antonella had been planning her wedding since she was 5 years old.
This story is about two people who were searching for love their whole lives & just when they were about to give up they met & knew they found their happily ever after.
This story begins at the end.
This story does not begin just like any other story, in fact this story is very different from the other fairy tales.
And they did not live happily ever after.
They were struck by the truck & died instantly.
These two lovers would not see another day.
They tried to get out of the way but it was too late their fate was already determined.
The truck seemed to be getting closer, because the noise was getting louder.
They heard a truck coming closer to them although they could not see it.
They walked down a winding road fearful of what could happen to them, they both knew it was very dangerous but they didn't care because they had each other.
It was so dark outside that they could not really see where they were going.
After their romantic day was over they walked home.
After several hours of talking, they realized they were so compatible & meant to be together.
They decided to celebrate being newlyweds with a romantic walk in the park followed by a picnic.
They didn't care what anyone had to say, they both loved each other & nothing else mattered.
Everyone expressed their opinions, saying that Antonella & Micheal were making a big mistake taking things so quickly.
Since they both agreed that they were meant to be together forever they got married instantly.
Everything seemed to be so perfect & they knew the second they locked eyes they were meant to be together, forever.
When Antonella & Micheal first met each other the sky was blue & the weather was beautiful.
They dated many people but none of those relationships were what they hoped for & dreamed of.
They seemed perfect for each other.
Nothing else seemed to matter to them.
Their wedding day seemed to be the most important day of their lives.
Since Micheal was a child he knew what type of ring he would give his bride & what color suit he would wear to his wedding.
She knew what decor she wanted & what dress she & her bridesmaids would wear.
Antonella had been planning her wedding since she was 5 years old.
This story is about two people who were searching for love their whole lives & just when they were about to give up they met & knew they found their happily ever after.
This story begins at the end.
This story does not begin just like any other story, in fact this story is very different from the other fairy tales.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
The Man
She stood there staring into the darkness oblivious to all that was around her.
Her limp body then fell to the ground & she broke down into tears.
She knew that the darkness would not judge her & that she could completely let herself go.
She always tried her hardest, gave it her all but it was never good enough.
In the middle of her mental breakdown the phone rang.
It echoed in her head.
She could barely pick herself off the floor to answer the phone.
She was curious to know who was calling but she didn't really care she was hurt & nothing else seemed to matter.
But the endless echoing of the phone ringing in her head caused her to wipe away the tears, pull her self together & answer the phone.
Her voice cracked as she said: "hello?"
It was him.
She might as well have been stabbed in the back.
Her body fell cold & numb.
He responded "Jen. I need you, come back."
She was in such shock she could not respond.
She didn't think she was in control of her body or mind but some how she was able to hang up the phone.
She was completely shattered after all that had happened, but that phone call put her over the edge.
She sat in the darkness no longer in tears, she sat back with a look of venom on her face.
She wished the worst on him.
She sat there all day, wishing the worst on him & rethinking all that he had said & done to her.
She couldn't sleep & she knew she was in need of help from a professional
The next day she visited a mental hospital & with the right medication & help she was ready to move on with her life.
After a few weeks the medication & professional help made her feel so much better.
She wanted to celebrate a new beginning by dedicating a full day of pampering to her self.
First she got her hair done, then her nails & then she went shopping for some new clothes.
After a full day of pampering she felt like a new woman, almost forgetting about all the sorrow that she had experienced.
As she walked to her car she heard a familiar voice.
When she turned around to see who the voice belonged to she saw him.
It was the man who caused her all the sorrow, the sorrow that she had forgotten about for a fleeting moment.
All those feelings of depression & hurt came back instantly.
She stared at him in the most evil way & he then asked her "why are you looking at me like that?"
She then took all of the bags of clothes that she had in her hands & started to throw them at him. She started screaming obscenities as she continued to hit him.
She stopped when he fell to the ground, she knocked him out unconscious.
She stared at his body & felt relieved, she got him back for all the pain he had caused her.
She wanted to take one last look at the face of the man who caused her such pain in her life.
As she looked at his face closely, she almost fainted.
Her body could no longer stand she felt so weak.
This was not the man who caused her pain, it was someone else.
They did have similar facial features but she could have sworn it was the man who caused her pain.
She had no idea who this man was & felt terrible for this misunderstanding.
She realized that she needed help so she called the police, after a few minutes of waiting the police arrived.
The police officer walked over to her & he looked just like the man who caused her pain.
She stared at him with a look of horror on her face.
He stared back at her & asked "are you alright?"
She then ran off, she knew it was wrong but she did not care.
As she looked around she felt as though she was surrounded by a world filled with men who looked exactly like the man who caused her suffering.
She ran non stop to the mental hospital & decided to stay there forever & hope to get the help that she needed & never have to worry about seeing his face again.
Little did she know that she would see the face of the man who caused her such pain for the rest of her life.
The man who caused her pain had cursed Jen's life forever because she had betrayed him in a previous life & that was her punishment.
Her limp body then fell to the ground & she broke down into tears.
She knew that the darkness would not judge her & that she could completely let herself go.
She always tried her hardest, gave it her all but it was never good enough.
In the middle of her mental breakdown the phone rang.
It echoed in her head.
She could barely pick herself off the floor to answer the phone.
She was curious to know who was calling but she didn't really care she was hurt & nothing else seemed to matter.
But the endless echoing of the phone ringing in her head caused her to wipe away the tears, pull her self together & answer the phone.
Her voice cracked as she said: "hello?"
It was him.
She might as well have been stabbed in the back.
Her body fell cold & numb.
He responded "Jen. I need you, come back."
She was in such shock she could not respond.
She didn't think she was in control of her body or mind but some how she was able to hang up the phone.
She was completely shattered after all that had happened, but that phone call put her over the edge.
She sat in the darkness no longer in tears, she sat back with a look of venom on her face.
She wished the worst on him.
She sat there all day, wishing the worst on him & rethinking all that he had said & done to her.
She couldn't sleep & she knew she was in need of help from a professional
The next day she visited a mental hospital & with the right medication & help she was ready to move on with her life.
After a few weeks the medication & professional help made her feel so much better.
She wanted to celebrate a new beginning by dedicating a full day of pampering to her self.
First she got her hair done, then her nails & then she went shopping for some new clothes.
After a full day of pampering she felt like a new woman, almost forgetting about all the sorrow that she had experienced.
As she walked to her car she heard a familiar voice.
When she turned around to see who the voice belonged to she saw him.
It was the man who caused her all the sorrow, the sorrow that she had forgotten about for a fleeting moment.
All those feelings of depression & hurt came back instantly.
She stared at him in the most evil way & he then asked her "why are you looking at me like that?"
She then took all of the bags of clothes that she had in her hands & started to throw them at him. She started screaming obscenities as she continued to hit him.
She stopped when he fell to the ground, she knocked him out unconscious.
She stared at his body & felt relieved, she got him back for all the pain he had caused her.
She wanted to take one last look at the face of the man who caused her such pain in her life.
As she looked at his face closely, she almost fainted.
Her body could no longer stand she felt so weak.
This was not the man who caused her pain, it was someone else.
They did have similar facial features but she could have sworn it was the man who caused her pain.
She had no idea who this man was & felt terrible for this misunderstanding.
She realized that she needed help so she called the police, after a few minutes of waiting the police arrived.
The police officer walked over to her & he looked just like the man who caused her pain.
She stared at him with a look of horror on her face.
He stared back at her & asked "are you alright?"
She then ran off, she knew it was wrong but she did not care.
As she looked around she felt as though she was surrounded by a world filled with men who looked exactly like the man who caused her suffering.
She ran non stop to the mental hospital & decided to stay there forever & hope to get the help that she needed & never have to worry about seeing his face again.
Little did she know that she would see the face of the man who caused her such pain for the rest of her life.
The man who caused her pain had cursed Jen's life forever because she had betrayed him in a previous life & that was her punishment.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
perplexed
They lived in the suburbs where there were mountains with green pastures.
Two prominent people who were known for their occupations that held titles of leadership in their community.
He a successful surgeon in a cancer unit and she a powerful judge.
Their name alone regularly mentioned in one of the most popular magazines would indicate that “Armand and Antoinette Davis” were hobnobbing with the latest celebrities.
It was a warm summer day in the middle of July and Antoinette loved Saturdays, for she knew she had the house to herself.
Armand was working his second shift and was due home in just enough time for a quick shower where they would be attending the Montefiore Cancer Survivors Ball.
As Antoinette was preparing her attire for the evening she heard the phone ring.
Oddly enough it was her husband.
He simply indicated he was running late and that she should go on to the function without him.
While en route to the affair she decided to take an alternate route due to a terrible traffic back up on the highway.
From what she could see a car was turned over up in flames causing traffic to exit.
Her cell phone rang.
It was Armando stating although he was running late, to be assured he was on his way shortly.
When Antoinette arrived to the building several colleagues approached her mortified with news, that her husband was killed in a fatal car wreck on his way to the party.
Antoinette went numb.
A few moments later several police men approached and notified her that her husband was dead upon arrival.
He was rushed to the hospital after his car collided with a gas tanker on the local high way. Without realizing it Antoinette fainted.
The next thing she knew, she woke up in her bed with her mother's gentle caressing informing her that her worst thoughts were true: Armando was gone.
She whispered to her mother that she just wanted to sleep and her mother said that she would be in the next room if she needed her.
Several moments later Antoinette heard the phone ringing non stop and she could not understand why her mother was not answering the phone.
Finally she picked up the phone.
A familiar voice on the other line replied “Honey, I am on my way home.”
Quickly she hung up the phone.
Her heart was beating fast, and there it was the phone was ringing again.
Slowly she reached and she picked it up.
The voice on the other end whispered “I am at the front door. Can you please open the door for me?”
She hung up the phone and summoned her mother.
There was no response.
Suddenly there were foot steps coming up from the basement, now coming closer toward her bedroom.
Quickly she locked the door.
While yelping for her mother she realized there were noises from the bathroom.
She jumped into her bed and pulled the blankets over her head.
She thought she felt something heavy laying next to her body.
She reached over to turn on the light and was shocked to realize it was her husband.
She screamed until she lost her voice and finally passed out.
While at the burial Antoinette she came to the harsh reality that she really was all alone.
Several days had passed.
While at the burial Antoinette came to the cruel reality that Armand was gone.
She had imagined that he had come to her that night in the bedroom in her dreams through fear. While days turned into weeks all Antoinette could think of was the feeling of her husband's body laying next to her.
She decided to face her fears and visit him at the grave sight.
As she parked her car in the parking lot, down the narrowing path that led to his tombstone she noticed a blanket draped neatly over the stone.
She came to realize that it was not an ordinary blanket, it was the blanket from their bed.
The realization of it all was so frightening that she dropped the blanket.
Seconds later her cell phone rang.
She reached into her purse for her cell phone.
As she raised the phone to her ear, that familiar voice on the other line whispered “Turn around.”
Two prominent people who were known for their occupations that held titles of leadership in their community.
He a successful surgeon in a cancer unit and she a powerful judge.
Their name alone regularly mentioned in one of the most popular magazines would indicate that “Armand and Antoinette Davis” were hobnobbing with the latest celebrities.
It was a warm summer day in the middle of July and Antoinette loved Saturdays, for she knew she had the house to herself.
Armand was working his second shift and was due home in just enough time for a quick shower where they would be attending the Montefiore Cancer Survivors Ball.
As Antoinette was preparing her attire for the evening she heard the phone ring.
Oddly enough it was her husband.
He simply indicated he was running late and that she should go on to the function without him.
While en route to the affair she decided to take an alternate route due to a terrible traffic back up on the highway.
From what she could see a car was turned over up in flames causing traffic to exit.
Her cell phone rang.
It was Armando stating although he was running late, to be assured he was on his way shortly.
When Antoinette arrived to the building several colleagues approached her mortified with news, that her husband was killed in a fatal car wreck on his way to the party.
Antoinette went numb.
A few moments later several police men approached and notified her that her husband was dead upon arrival.
He was rushed to the hospital after his car collided with a gas tanker on the local high way. Without realizing it Antoinette fainted.
The next thing she knew, she woke up in her bed with her mother's gentle caressing informing her that her worst thoughts were true: Armando was gone.
She whispered to her mother that she just wanted to sleep and her mother said that she would be in the next room if she needed her.
Several moments later Antoinette heard the phone ringing non stop and she could not understand why her mother was not answering the phone.
Finally she picked up the phone.
A familiar voice on the other line replied “Honey, I am on my way home.”
Quickly she hung up the phone.
Her heart was beating fast, and there it was the phone was ringing again.
Slowly she reached and she picked it up.
The voice on the other end whispered “I am at the front door. Can you please open the door for me?”
She hung up the phone and summoned her mother.
There was no response.
Suddenly there were foot steps coming up from the basement, now coming closer toward her bedroom.
Quickly she locked the door.
While yelping for her mother she realized there were noises from the bathroom.
She jumped into her bed and pulled the blankets over her head.
She thought she felt something heavy laying next to her body.
She reached over to turn on the light and was shocked to realize it was her husband.
She screamed until she lost her voice and finally passed out.
While at the burial Antoinette she came to the harsh reality that she really was all alone.
Several days had passed.
While at the burial Antoinette came to the cruel reality that Armand was gone.
She had imagined that he had come to her that night in the bedroom in her dreams through fear. While days turned into weeks all Antoinette could think of was the feeling of her husband's body laying next to her.
She decided to face her fears and visit him at the grave sight.
As she parked her car in the parking lot, down the narrowing path that led to his tombstone she noticed a blanket draped neatly over the stone.
She came to realize that it was not an ordinary blanket, it was the blanket from their bed.
The realization of it all was so frightening that she dropped the blanket.
Seconds later her cell phone rang.
She reached into her purse for her cell phone.
As she raised the phone to her ear, that familiar voice on the other line whispered “Turn around.”
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Close connections
My best friend has had the greatest impact on my life.
Calling her my best friend is an understatement though, because having her as my friend is truly the greatest honor.
She is the greatest person, she is the sister I never had, only better.
She doesn't have any flaws, except for the fact that she doesnt know how great she is!
We share the same feelings & do the same things, it is one of the most incredible experiences. Not only do we share so much in common but she understands me more than anyone can.
I honestly can say that I think that she knows me better than I know myself.
When ever we hang out we have the greatest time, even if we just do nothing but talk.
I know that this is a once in a lifetime friendship, I am so fortunate to have her in my life.
Not everyone is as fortunate as I am & I know that.
I truly believe that we all deserve to have a great friend like her, I am a better person because of her.
I know for a fact that we will be friends forever, I will make sure of it.
One of the greatest things is that I can tell her anything & know that she would never judge me.
I never thought that I could ever trust anyone like I trust her, but she is the exception.
One of her many great qualities include that she actually cares about me & that she will relate to what ever emotion I am feeling.
When I am excited she gets excited with me.
When I am sad she is sad with me & she always makes me feel better.
Not many people are actually happy for others but I know that she always means what she says & is always genuine.
She always listens when I speak & always tells me what I need to hear.
She gives me the best advice & always makes me feel better.
Everyday I learn something from her, she is so intelligent.
Her words are so beautiful & I will treasure them forever.
I learn so much from her & try to be more like her.
Although there is one thing that we do not agree on.
I think that she is the greatest person, but she refuses to believe me & tells me that I am the greatest.
Honestly I do not even come close to how wonderful she is.
It upsets me to know that she doesn't know what a great person she is & that she is a much better person than I could ever be.
I love her so much, my best friend forever Sophia.
Calling her my best friend is an understatement though, because having her as my friend is truly the greatest honor.
She is the greatest person, she is the sister I never had, only better.
She doesn't have any flaws, except for the fact that she doesnt know how great she is!
We share the same feelings & do the same things, it is one of the most incredible experiences. Not only do we share so much in common but she understands me more than anyone can.
I honestly can say that I think that she knows me better than I know myself.
When ever we hang out we have the greatest time, even if we just do nothing but talk.
I know that this is a once in a lifetime friendship, I am so fortunate to have her in my life.
Not everyone is as fortunate as I am & I know that.
I truly believe that we all deserve to have a great friend like her, I am a better person because of her.
I know for a fact that we will be friends forever, I will make sure of it.
One of the greatest things is that I can tell her anything & know that she would never judge me.
I never thought that I could ever trust anyone like I trust her, but she is the exception.
One of her many great qualities include that she actually cares about me & that she will relate to what ever emotion I am feeling.
When I am excited she gets excited with me.
When I am sad she is sad with me & she always makes me feel better.
Not many people are actually happy for others but I know that she always means what she says & is always genuine.
She always listens when I speak & always tells me what I need to hear.
She gives me the best advice & always makes me feel better.
Everyday I learn something from her, she is so intelligent.
Her words are so beautiful & I will treasure them forever.
I learn so much from her & try to be more like her.
Although there is one thing that we do not agree on.
I think that she is the greatest person, but she refuses to believe me & tells me that I am the greatest.
Honestly I do not even come close to how wonderful she is.
It upsets me to know that she doesn't know what a great person she is & that she is a much better person than I could ever be.
I love her so much, my best friend forever Sophia.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
the silver cup
Jennifer Dole blew into town like a chill wind.
Women whispered behind her back.
There was something about her.
Although, the men did not think so.
The men would go out of their way to help a young widow adjust to life in their small town.
The men could never say enough about Jennifer's bright blue eyes.
Joe Strong was a hard working man who kept to himself.
The most valuable thing he owned was his his mother's silver cup that she had cherished her whole life.
Every Sunday Joe would take the silver cup down to the well and drink water from it while saying a prayer.
He never told this to anyone.
When Jennifer met Joe it was obvious of her intentions.
She was very attracted to him.
The next day was Sunday, Joe as habit took the cup and walked down to the well.
He went down to the well & filled his cup.
As he began to drink his eyes caught a flash of light like sun on yellow roses.
Coming out of the woods was a cat.
It strolled up to Joe.
He bent to stroke it's head.
A chill lifted the hair on his neck and arms.
Joe stared into the big blue eyes of the cat-the color of frozen ice.
The cat was purring.
Without warning the cat stuck its sharp claws right into Joe's flesh.
Joe angrily pounced on the cats head with the silver cup.
The cat ran away quickly.
The next day, the village had heard Jennifer was missing.
After a while the landlord had found her dead in her bed.
The body had laid with a bruise to her head, they said she must have fallen in dark.
Women whispered behind her back.
There was something about her.
Although, the men did not think so.
The men would go out of their way to help a young widow adjust to life in their small town.
The men could never say enough about Jennifer's bright blue eyes.
Joe Strong was a hard working man who kept to himself.
The most valuable thing he owned was his his mother's silver cup that she had cherished her whole life.
Every Sunday Joe would take the silver cup down to the well and drink water from it while saying a prayer.
He never told this to anyone.
When Jennifer met Joe it was obvious of her intentions.
She was very attracted to him.
The next day was Sunday, Joe as habit took the cup and walked down to the well.
He went down to the well & filled his cup.
As he began to drink his eyes caught a flash of light like sun on yellow roses.
Coming out of the woods was a cat.
It strolled up to Joe.
He bent to stroke it's head.
A chill lifted the hair on his neck and arms.
Joe stared into the big blue eyes of the cat-the color of frozen ice.
The cat was purring.
Without warning the cat stuck its sharp claws right into Joe's flesh.
Joe angrily pounced on the cats head with the silver cup.
The cat ran away quickly.
The next day, the village had heard Jennifer was missing.
After a while the landlord had found her dead in her bed.
The body had laid with a bruise to her head, they said she must have fallen in dark.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Unknown
I walked down a dark eerie hallway all alone
I heard a noise & wondered where it was coming from & if anyone was there
I continued down the hallway following the noise
The noise seemed to be getting louder as I ventured onward
The hallway appeared to be getting longer & longer, never ending
But I knew it had to had an ending, it was all an illusion
As the noise got louder, my heart started pounding faster
I was anxious to find out where this sound was coming from but also fearful of the unknown
I knew it was ridiculous to be acting in such a way, but I was worried
I started walking faster & finally found the room where the noise was coming from
The second I entered the room the noise stopped
I looked around & found a closed door
I wasn't sure if I should open the door, I was both scared & hesitant to find something or someone I was not suppose to
Curiosity came over me & I bravely turned the knob
Before I enter the room the door behind me slams shut
I was so startled by the loud slam that I broke the knob to the door
I enter the room scarred for my life
I look around, I am in complete darkness
The room is cluttered & has an odd smell
I see a light from the corner of the room
I try to follow the light but tripped over something
As I get up I see a shadow in front of me
I start to scream as the shadow approaches me
I realize the shadow figure is a young man
He picks me up & locks me into a dark cold room
I sat & waited for which seemed like hours but in fact were only a few minutes
I could not understand what happened & was so worried
I tried breaking the door but gave up after my numerous unsuccessful attemps
After several hours of waiting I had tired myself out from my nerves & fell asleep
I never found out what happened next because I never woke up
I heard a noise & wondered where it was coming from & if anyone was there
I continued down the hallway following the noise
The noise seemed to be getting louder as I ventured onward
The hallway appeared to be getting longer & longer, never ending
But I knew it had to had an ending, it was all an illusion
As the noise got louder, my heart started pounding faster
I was anxious to find out where this sound was coming from but also fearful of the unknown
I knew it was ridiculous to be acting in such a way, but I was worried
I started walking faster & finally found the room where the noise was coming from
The second I entered the room the noise stopped
I looked around & found a closed door
I wasn't sure if I should open the door, I was both scared & hesitant to find something or someone I was not suppose to
Curiosity came over me & I bravely turned the knob
Before I enter the room the door behind me slams shut
I was so startled by the loud slam that I broke the knob to the door
I enter the room scarred for my life
I look around, I am in complete darkness
The room is cluttered & has an odd smell
I see a light from the corner of the room
I try to follow the light but tripped over something
As I get up I see a shadow in front of me
I start to scream as the shadow approaches me
I realize the shadow figure is a young man
He picks me up & locks me into a dark cold room
I sat & waited for which seemed like hours but in fact were only a few minutes
I could not understand what happened & was so worried
I tried breaking the door but gave up after my numerous unsuccessful attemps
After several hours of waiting I had tired myself out from my nerves & fell asleep
I never found out what happened next because I never woke up
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
my current thoughts
My cousin has been on my mind a lot later. I love him so much but he has been so annoying. He has been so overly protective of me, its ridiculous. First of all I am older than him (only a year but still I am older) & yet he treats me like I am his younger, inexperienced, innocent, naive sister. It drives me insane. It should make me happy to know that he cares so much about me but it annoys me. I don't know what to do, I spoke to him about it & he refuses to admit that he is so protective. He told me that he cares & worries I will get hurt but that he will give me my space & wont overly protect me. LIES! I feel like he is getting in the way of my happiness, he constantly gets involved & acts so weird about everything. He is constantly asking me if everything is ok & wanting to protect me from everyone. What I really don't understand is how he tells me that he doesn't care what I do & that he wont bother me, but he does! He is completely contradicting what he tells me & it annoys me so much. I don't know why hes so protective of me. Then he does something that really drives me insane, he doesn't want me to compliment others. He seems to get very annoyed & jealous. I don't know why he is acting this way but its starting to drive me insane. He has become intolerant of me complimenting boys he rolls his eyes, smirks then usually walks away. I want to bring it up but he refuses to admit that anythings wrong. I don't understand him. I wish he would talk to me so I could have a greater understanding of his feelings, maybe I would tolerate his weird behavior better.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Choir
I have been singing since I could speak. I recall my mom playing her favorite songs on our surround sound system & I would sing along & perform with all my heart. As a result music has always been a major part of my life. I joined the choir when I entered elementary school & ever since I was always involved with the choir. My first year of choir in the Baldwin High School was one of the most notable choir memories, primarily because of my teacher Ms.Liu. She had the greatest impact on my life. She was very intelligent & funny. Not only was she a great & interesting person but I learned so much about music & life from her. When I knew that I would be graduating I found it very difficult to imagine choir & life without her. Some how I got through it, but I am lost without choir in my life. I plan on joining the concert choir at Molloy after I get settled because my schedule is quite busy.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Who I am
My name is Bianca & I am seventeen years old. My interests include singing, acting, dancing, watching movies, listenening to music, & hanging out with my friends & family.
I am a sensitive person who can be shy at times, but when I feel comfortable I can be quite outgoing. I am very open to trying new things & changing my mind. If someone feels differently about a particular issue I like to hear them out with an open mind & I am willing to change my opinion based on their reasoning. I really enjoy learning about new things & look forward to furthering my education at Molloy. I am majoring in English Education & want to teach at an elementary school.
I am a sensitive person who can be shy at times, but when I feel comfortable I can be quite outgoing. I am very open to trying new things & changing my mind. If someone feels differently about a particular issue I like to hear them out with an open mind & I am willing to change my opinion based on their reasoning. I really enjoy learning about new things & look forward to furthering my education at Molloy. I am majoring in English Education & want to teach at an elementary school.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Queen B's 1st blog
The most important people in my life are my friends & my family. I could not imagine life with out them. They are my greatest supporters & I love them so much. Although I only know my best friends Sophia & Ellen for a few years, they feel like family to me. I know that they will be in my lives forever. They have had the greatest impact on my life & I will make sure that we always keep in touch. I am looking forward to making new friends, here at Molloy.
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