Counterpoint

When I see Chuck Bass my heart skips a beat, he is so conceited & offensive. I love it beyond explanation, I cant even put it into words. I love how he thinks that everyone thinks hes the hottest man on earth, I certainly think so. But I cant handle when he makes crude remarks & makes an annoyed face, my knees get weak. He is so irresistible, at least I think so. His face couldnt be more handsome than when hes angry or annoyed: his nose wrinkles up & he snarls then his eyes squint & he turns his head. It is the most amazing look I have ever seen. But its his arrogance that really gets my attention. He walks into the room like he owns it. He always has on expensive designer suits & looks down at everyone like they are 'beneath him' & that not worthy of his attention. He always has a look of annoyance. It is the most beautiful facial expression in my opinion, I think I love him. He thinks that he can get what ever he wants & hes right except for when it comes to women. Most women are turned off by his arrogance & attitude. But what is most impressive about Chuck is the fact that he in unfazed by people that reject him. His confidence allows him handle it so well.

Open book-John Lennon lyrics

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.
But today is different, today is a new day.
I am going to do it different this time.
Everything that use to seem so right is now so wrong.
I guess I am wiser now, I have my eyes opened now.
I dont know why but suddenly my thoughts have changed & I am a new person.
I am sick of playing these games, I am too old for it.
I use to think it was fun but I dont want to deal with it anymore.
It all seems so childish.
I wish you would just come out & say exactly how you feel, just tell me.
What are you waiting for?
Your wasting time.
When its too late you will decide to speak up, that is so foolish.
Life is short & so are you.
Your not going to get any taller, its reality.
Quit making excuses & accept the fact that your not going to change.
I love you for who you are & i dont want you to change.
I love all of your flaws, you imperfections are what make you: YOU.
Yesterday was different, I am focused on today.
Stop living in the past & start living now.
Enjoy your self & stop being so delirious.

I remember

The most memorable event in Bianca's life would have to be her senior year in high school. She was elected President of her choir, she had a role in the musical "Footloose", she had the greatest friends, & everything else seemed to be going so well in her life.
She never thought she would win the title of President but she did & she was in shock. It was the greatest accomplishment. She would make speeches to represent the choir & she would assist the teacher & teach the choir. She then had to pick a song as her presidential song to teach the choir. She picked her favorite song that her grandfather would sing "What I did for love." She learned how to conduct & she had auditions for the solos in the song. This was the most amazing experience, one that she will never forget. She learned so much as the President, she became a stronger person & also a better person.
Footloose was another amazing experience. She never had a big role in a play before this was the 1st time she ever had a speaking role. She was so excited but nervous because she had several long lines to remember. But it was the best play she was ever apart of & she met the greatest people & she will never forget it.
She met her best friend Sophia in choir when she was President, it was Sophia's first year. Bianca knew that Sophia was shy so she could relate to her because Bianca use to be very shy too. Whenever they had solos Bianca would try to make sure that Sophia didnt have to go because she knew that she would feel uncomfortable. Bianca found herself looking out for Sophia as much as she could. They formed a strong bond & have been best friends ever since. But Bianca knows that this friendship unlike the rest will last forever. The friendship that they have is once in a lifetime.
Senior year was the best year of Bianca's life, it seemed like nothing could go wrong everything was in her favor.

The place I love

The place I love most is the beach in Brooklyn in the middle of summer. Its usually crowded & smells of Italian food. This is no ordinary beach this beach is filled with Italians it looks like an episode of the "Sopranos". Everyone sits around on their beach chairs eating spaghetti & meat balls. They all speak loudly; cursing & yelling to get others attention. The ocean sparkles as the waves crash against the rocks on to the sand. The sky is blue & beautiful, the clouds are big & fluffy. It is the perfect day. Then I walk over to pool where there are many people laughing & having a great time. I love this place so much it is so much fun, everyone seems so happy like they dont have a care in the world. The feeling of the sun as it touches my skin, the smell of the delicious food, the sound of people talking, the warm weather, I wonder why wouldn't anyone want to be here. Although I know that this place is not for everyone, but for me its the greatest place. As if this place couldn't get any better they have a dance floor & live music. Which happens to be my most favorite thing to do, sing & dance. Yes this is a beach. They have everything there. Its my most favorite place I wish I could go there everyday. As I walk on to the beach I would look around at everyone & they would always smile back at me & make me feel accepted. It is the most wonderful place, everyone is so wonderful & helpful. Its beautiful to look at & has beautiful people & beautiful things.

Eulogy

My name was Bianca & I lived a long & wonderful life. I died at the age of 75 but I accomplished many things in my lifetime & I dont regret anything. When I was 17 I graduated from high school at the top of my class. I was very popular in school, everyone knew my name & everyone wanted to be my friend. Everyone knew that I was destined to be a star, since I was 5 years old I always dreamed of being famous. Instead of attending college I decided to live my dream so I moved to California. I wanted to be do it all be a fashion designer, model, actress, singer, dancer & make my own line of products. I wanted to do it all. So I moved into this beautiful mansion in Hollywood & hoped to get discovered. I went to all the hottest night clubs & met so many celebrities & agents. They all noticed me right away & said that I was destined to be a star. After a few months of partying & getting acquainted with the industry I hired my own crew of people which consisted of hair stylists, managers, assistants, body guards etc. I needed all the help I could get. Instead of signing with an agency I did it all myself. I created my own agency and record label. I hired many people & created my own clothes. Luckily my family left me millions of dollars so that I could accomplish all this, otherwise none of this could be possible. After a year of preparation I finally received the credit that I deserved. Everyone started to notice me & I seemed to get more attention everyday. After just 5 months I was already among the A listers. I became so famous & I was only 18 years old. I dated all of the hottest actors but after several years of this type of lifestyle I grew tired. I couldnt stand the paparazzi watching my every move & printing false stories about my life in the tabloids. I was making millions of dollars but it didnt matter anymore, I wanted my old life back. I knew that was impossible, I finally established a name for myself & now I wanted to back out. I knew it was not the wise thing to do but I didnt care I left Hollywood & bought an island for myself in the Caribbean. I stayed there for 5 years to rest, it was the best 5 years of my life. But I realized I had not accomplished anything in that time so I decided to go back to the U.S.A. & run for President. I won, I dont know how but it was unanimous. I was 1st female president & the youngest person to ever win. After my 4 years in office I felt that I had accomplished everything that I ever dreamed of & that I could finally rest without feeling guilty, like I didnt do anything. That brings me to my death. After my time in office I returned to my island to rest. On my 75th birthday I decided to go swimming in the beautiful blue water but then I drowned I dont remember how but that was my life story, sadly it had to end like that but my life was a great one.

self assessment

I cant believe this is my last blog.
I must admit I didn't love blogging because I would always forget & then I would remember at the most inopportune time & then it would bother me because I would know I have to get it done.
But it is kind of said when ever something comes to an end.
So this is my final farewell to blogging.
It was fun & now its all over.
I do believe that as a result of all this blogging I think that I am more in tune with my 'inner self.'
I feel like this whole experience made me understand who I am.
I also think that I have improved with my writing, I am not even close to being a great writer but I have improved in length & getting rid of my writers block.
Therefore I believe that this whole experience had a completely positive affect on me, therefore I am kind of sad to end my blogging.
I think I did a great job capturing my true self I am silly, unique, interesting & my favorite word that Mike hates CUTESY!
That is who I am.
There is no denying it.
Revealing the 'shadow me' is hard because for the most part I am a bright person.
I love to smile & be happy that's just me.
Therefore I couldn't avoid exposing that happy side to me in my blogs.
Although I did reveal another side more dark with some of my spooky stories.
I am proud of some of my works.
For the most part I am a very insecure person but I am especially insecure about my writing.
I am a bit of a perfectionist therefore it is very hard for me to like any of my works.
But I do like some of my scary stories & love poems because I had to dig deep within my self to come up with them & that is the result & I am quite happy with how they came out.
I just hope everyone else enjoyed them I really appreciated all the comments & feedback.
This experience has been most pleasurable & I will miss it.

could this be love?

How do you know when your in love?
Do you feel a tightness in your stomach when your in HIS presence?
Do you feel a shortness of breath when HE comes over&says hello to you?
As he gently places his arms around you, does it cause your head to spin and then suddenly u forget where you are?
In the split of a second you feel like the earth has stopped moving&suddenly you enter another dimension finding yourself in heaven
Wishing that this moment could last forever, you grasp on tighter&tighter slowly taking HIM in.
as you are captured by the moment he whispers something in your ear and as he slowly pulls away from you a feeling comes over you
a feeling of sepearation overcomes your body as thoughts continue to rush through your mind
you felt so comfortable in his arms.. forgetting that we live in a cruel world..like nothing could harm you
thats when you know this love is real, its true love.
but sadly this love doesn't last forever it withers away due to seperation & seeing each other for who we truly were.
But whether or not this love was meant to be know that you will forever hold a place in my heart.

If only he knew

If only he knew my thoughts.
If only he knew the affect he has on me.
If only he knew that he is all I think about at night
Maybe then everything would make sense
Possibly then things would fall into place
Only then will love find its way.
I cannot hide the truth any longer

The good boy

She fell in love with the wrong guy, she knew he was a bad boy & she knew all the negative things that came along with dating Tony. But she didnt care & that is the most dangerous part. She was fully aware that she could never trust him & that he didnt care for her nearly as much as she cared for her. The worst part was that this wonderful boy named Dominic was madly in love with her & he had so many great qualities yet she didnt have any interest in him. She knew that she was better off with Dominic but she loved the feelings she had for Tony. When she was in Tony's presence she saw fireworks & that is what made her pick him over the Dominic. When she was with the Dominic she loved how he was a gentleman & how he had that twinkle in his eye but it wasnt enough, she longed for the feeling that spark that she had for Tony. She was well aware that Tony was bound to break her heart, he was a notorious player. Yet she didnt care, she thought she loved him but it was just lust. Dominic stood by her throughout it all & she was so thankful for that yet it was never enough she just needed to be with Tony. After a few months of dating Tony he decided to break up with her because he found someone else. He met a blonde in a bar & they were planning on moving to Paris together because she was a model & she wanted to pursue her career with Tony. She saw it all coming but not so soon so she wasnt that devastated. She thought to her self: 'was it all worth it? I saw this coming, maybe I thought I could change him. I could have been with Dominic this would have never happened if I were with him.' She thought about it for hours, then it occurred to her. She was done with the 'bad boy stage' she wants a real man that is loyal & has great qualities, Dominic. But it was too late Dominic found someone else. He waited for her long enough now it was time for him to stop chasing her & settle down. Now this was shocking to her, she never saw that coming.

John Lennon

What a breath of fresh air after the long & torturous Bob Dylan saga.
I dont think I will ever get over the abuse my ears had to put up with because of Bob Dylan.
Therefore Lennon is now my savior.
I knew that he couldnt be worse than Dlyan, anything was an improvement in my eyes.
But Lennon really impressed me, I wasnt expecting how amazing his songs are.
I enjoyed his music very much, he is so unique & really captivated me.
In my opinion not only is Lennon way more talented but he is better then Dylan in every aspect (musically).
John Lennon's songs are so catchy & beautiful.
His songs went from sad to up beat to weird to every where in between.
I absolutely loved his music.
& I really enjoyed the Beatles music.
I had no idea they sang half of those songs, I knew those songs very well but didnt know who sang them
They were so successful & their songs are amazing.
I really enjoyed Lennon.

Inner Self

I am a happy person, smiling just about all day everyday.
I think I know who I am, although my best friend seems to know me better than I think I know myself.
I love to laugh so hard that I cry.
I am quite sensitive & caring.
I can be quite shy at time but it just depends on the people I am with.
If I dont know people I tend to keep to my self but with my closest friends I am outgoing & crazy.
I never realized how crazy & silly I was until recently.
I must say that I like who I am, although I am not a confident person.
I am actually quite insecure but I think that I am an all around good person.
I care about others feelings especially the people that mean most to me.
I think that I am a pretty good judge of character & that I can read peoples body language so I know how to act.
I am a total 'girly girl'.
I can be really random at times its really funny.
I have my share of 'blonde moments.'
I love my blonde hair & it comes in handy when I make a mistake I blame it on being blonde.
I am not very intelligent but I think I am quite smart, I was on the high honor roll throughout high school.
My secret: I never study its really terrible but I do well I dont know how.
I am a lot smarter than some people think I am.
Some people that dont know me think I am just some blonde who loves to shop that is true but I am much more than that.
A lot of people judge me the minute they see me.
They say I dont know what it is but I dont like her.
They think that I am conceited because of the way I dress.
Once they get to know me they realize that they were wrong & they tell me that they thought I was someone that I am not.
People can be so ignorant & I hate that.
Selfishness & cockiness is a total turn off I cant stand people with those qualities.
I am very good at keeping secrets whether they are my own or my friends.
I think I am innocent but not too innocent.
Some people think I am more innocent than I am & others think the opposite.
I like to keep an open mind about everything.
Although if I don't like someone it takes a lot to change my opinion & usually I will never be able to overlook the fact that I cant trust them.
I usually have premonitions its really weird & they usually come true.
Even though I don't really believe in deja vu its just weird I will get a vision sometimes & then it happens.
I love to listen to sad songs even when I am happy, I just love the beauty of tempo & the words.
I love to dance & sing even though I am not the greatest dancer or singer.
I am always singing & or dancing everyday.
Music makes me very happy I feel like it defines me as a person.
I can listen to a song & relate it to my life.
Sometimes I feel like certain songs were written for me because it has so much to do with me & my life.
I love listening to rap music.
When they curse it makes me feel like I am releasing any negative feelings I had.
Its weird but I enjoy it.
I like to try new things especially new foods.
I am a bit of a dare devil although sometimes I get a little scared or concerned.
I have been a vegetarian for 7 years now & I love it.
I will never eat meat again, I wish I was a vegetarian all of my life (from the beginning).
I am very disciplined when it comes to eating & behavior.
I can control myself very well even though it can be tempting I can refrain from doing things or eating things.
I love animals especially puppies & horses.
I am a people person even though I can be shy.
Children & babies are amazing I love to hang out with them I always learn new things from them.
I think I act like a little girl most of the time but I am quite mature too.
I am a quite confusing person I have so many different sides.
I definitely became a stronger & more stern person after becoming president of the choir last year.
A lot of people were unsure if I had what it took to be a leader, I was uncertain myself.
But I knew that I couldn't be too sweet I had a huge position.
I was the leader & I needed to lead them.

My first day as the president was a test not everyone believed in me so I had to change.

So I reached deep within myself & I although it was difficult I did my job to the best of my ability.
I do believe that position changed me.
I was a more serious person.
I was tested & I had to get their attention so I proved to everyone including myself that I could be stern.
After this experience I definitely learned more about my self & that everyone has their own magnificence.
I am not the best person in the world but I am quite unique & have many sides.
I think I am an interesting person to know, everyone has their story mine is just beginning but up until now it has been very great & intriguing.

Weak

my knees tremble at the sound of your voice

my mind wonders with curiosity ready to explode

as i close my eyes i dream and i can see it clearly

a fairytale ready to unfold and be told

a chill rushes down my spine while feeling your gentle touch, take your time b.c i want it to last forever.

The smell of your sweet cologne tranquilizes my thoughts.

I am filled with all different kinds of emotions.

A terrible sadness changes my demeanor within the next few minutes I am happy again.

The sudden change of mood brings back the confusion

Is it love?

I can only wonder.

For it is too soon to tell.

meditation

I feel so carefree, unaware of everything else.
My eyes are closed & all I see is darkness.
Its so peaceful.
I want to do this everyday all day.
I try to relax my mind but I cant seem to block out all my thoughts.
I try but it just isn't possible.
Thoughts run to my mind & immediately take over those moments of relaxation.
I try to focus on my breathing so that I can get rid of all other thoughts, so that I can completely relax.
I find an inner peace & harmony.
It is a wonderful feeling.
I know it wont last long because my thoughts will find a way to take over.
I continue to do meditate for a few minutes.
Time feels as though it is slowing down, yet it feels like its flying by at the same time.
I feel so relaxed.
Just as I start to fall into a deep relaxation of mind & body my thoughts once again run to my head.
I start to tense up.
But I try to set my mind at ease.
I continue to keep my eyes closed but then I start to think about the weekend & what happened. I seem to relive all that happened & think about the upcoming week.
I am no longer focused on meditation & am no longer relaxed.
I start to get stressed thinking about all that happened & what will happen.
My feelings continue to change from happiness to nervousness to excitement to confusion.
More thoughts enter my mind.
I forget where I am & what I had set out to do:
RELAX
I realized that these thoughts are not allowing me to do that & I need to find a way to block them out so that I can meditate in total peace & harmony.
But it seems impossible.
As I lay back on my yoga mat with my eyes closed I hear several distracting noises.
I hear dogs barking in the distance, car doors slamming, & my mom talking on the phone.
I am completely fed up so I run to my i-pod & listen to soothing music.
But it just makes me depressed so I put on lil wayne.
But his music doesn't seem to fit my current mood.
Then I find a Britney Spears remix song that seemed to complete me.
I lay on my mat with the lights turns off & the sun providing lights by peaking threw my window shades.
This allows me to fully relax & it was the best five minutes of the day.
Although it was only five minutes it made me feel refreshed & more content.
Then I continued on with my glorious life of noise & thought about those five wonderful minutes of harmony.

Bob Dylan

After listening to the Bob Dylan CD that was provided by professor Russo for about an hour I thought I was going to lose my mind.
Forgive me, but he can get monotonous after a few minutes of listening to his music.
I really felt as though I was suffocating.
I just cant stand to listen to him anymore.
There are a few good songs but some of them are hard to listen to.
Sometimes you cant even understand what he is saying.
But his lyrics are quite beautiful it is like poetry but his voice drives me crazy after a while.
Although he has explored all different types of music I feel its all the same.
My brain feels like it has exploded & I don't want to listen to him ever again.
Anything slightly resembling his music makes me go insane.
It has really affected me in a bad way.
I don't know why but I am deeply affected, scarred.
His music isn't that bad but I felt tortured.
It was definitely too much for me to handle.
I knew that I had to listen to all of the songs & that if I didn't listen to all of them in one sitting I wouldn't want to listen to rest of the songs. So I unwillingly listened to all of the songs in one sitting for a whole hour & I did unrepairable damage. I wont ever be the same. As a result Bob Dylan is my archenemy. I have had my fill of Bob Dylan. I listened to his songs that made me go insane & watched his long documentaries & now I am done with him. I don't think I would be able to listen to his music ever again. I think it would get ugly if I had to listen to his music for too long.

A time of spontaneity

Some of my friends are quite spontaneous & can be so care free. I always try to have fun but not get out of hand. Most of my friends don't agree with my ways & feel that I should be a little more fun & completely let myself go. I know that I will never do that because of the consequences. I am very careful. But one day I was feeling quite uninhibited & we decided to have some fun. We played crazy games which was so entertaining but childish & kind of bad. I realized that when we started to play truth or dare it was going to get ugly. I didn't want to participate because I knew where it was going. But everyone had to play so I was in a sense, stuck. So I continued to play & it seemed to be getting worse & worse. At first I felt kind of uncomfortable but I realized it was just fun & then I started to enjoy myself. I started to feel spontaneous & carefree. That was when the fun really started. It was a wonderful feeling, like nothing could go wrong. As the night went on it felt like the hours were flying by & it was the most fun I had ever had. I laughed so much that my stomach ached as a result of any kind of movement. It felt like I did 1,000 crunches in one sitting, but it was worth the pain from all the laughs that we had. It was a wonderful time in my life that I will never forget. I started out quite stiff & conscious but then I realized that it was just a game & entertaining. Why not have a little fun & that's what I did.

assuming how people react to drugs

The wall is staring at me
So I stared back
It thinks it can stare me down but no I can win this game
I wont even blink
I don't care how long it takes I will stare at it for days
In the middle of our long competition I noticed a big dot on the wall
The wall is cheating because it used this big swirling dot to distract me
But I wont allow it
I am going to win this game
But that dot is relentless it seems to be getting closer & closer to my face
This dot will not get the best of me
Although I must admit it is starting to get more difficult because its taking over my mind
But I wont give up, yet
The dot spins round & round
Swirling hypnotizing me
I cant stand it much longer so I close my eyes to relax my mind
I see sharp flying objects in a pool of darkness
It is so dangerous
I try to force my eyes to open but they wont
I am beyond frustrated & upset
I am scared these objects that I see when my eyes are slammed shut disturb me
After several attempts luckily I pull my eye lids open & the flying objects disappear
I am so angry at myself for losing my staring competition with the wall
But I am so glad those damn flying objects are no longer in my face
I don't know what else to do with my self
I stumble when I walk & cant look around
My eyes focus on something & then I start my staring competition all over again
I keep losing it gets me so angry

Womanizer

What a disgusting pig
He stares at all the girls
Looks them up & down
Then he winks at them & lips his lips
Talk about disgusting
Does he really think girls would be interested in him by those actions?
He thinks he hot stuff & that they think hes irresistable
If any girl were interested in him they would have ot be either desperate or stupid
His pick up lines are the worst
For instance:
Hey sexy, are u single? well not for long. u wanna be my baby?
EW YOU PIG!
Your grotesque
He calls himself the womanizer
He hasnt even ever had a GIRLFRIEND
Hello?
Do you not know the definition of womanizer
Then he makes up fictional stories about his LOVE LIFE
Which is an absolute joke

Want to know the worst part about him?
I am madly in love with him
I think that his stupid ways are so sexy & I cant stand it
I want to slap him
Then I want to passionately kiss him
He has no idea about this
I am the only girl he doesnt wink at or say those silly pick up lines to
It kills me that I am not one of those girls

So my & my friends went to vegas & they decided to go to the casino
I said I wasnt feeling good & luckily they all bought it
I had a plan
I was going to go to one of those infamous costume stores & buy myself a wig & disguise myself
I got all dressed up & looked completely different
Then I knew I had to get his attention
So I went to the lounge where all my friends were seated in the first row
I approached the manager & asked if I could star in the show
I offered him some money & he so he couldnt refuse
He made me the star of the show
When I came on the stage I looked flawless
My heart was beating out of control
I looked over at him & we locked eyes
He was in the palm of my hand
He stared me down & I knew my mission was accomplished
Even better than I had thought
After the show he looked for me
He could barely talk
For once in his life he was speechless
He was so taken by me
He actually admitted
You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen
When I removed all of my make up & took off the wig he nearly fainted
He couldnt not believe it was me
Everyone was shocked & couldnt understand why I had did that
I oculdnt lie & admitted that I wanted his attention so badly
He was silent

I went on the plane home thinking about all that happened
I was upset with how he reacted but felt satisfied that he finally looked at me like he really liked me
That was all I wanted, for him to look at me just once like he was attracted me

I was so silly then for going through all that for that WOMANIZER
I was only 23 when that happened but now I am older & much wiser

Nah I am not, now I am married to that womanizer
Truth is that he put on that "womanizer" act because he really loved me

prove your love

She broke his heart
She stomped all over it
And as if that wasn't bad enough, she & her new boyfriend spit on it
He couldn't have felt any worse
She wanted him to prove that he loved her
And so he tried everything
But it was never good enough
Jewelery, flowers, fancy cars, designer bags...
He bought her everything in hopes that it would prove he was willing to go any length for her & that he loved her with all of his HEART
Then it occurred to him
He went to the doctors office & asked for immediate surgery
He wanted them to remove his heart
His heart seemed like the perfect gift
He felt that it was perfect
That would definitely prove that he loved her
The doctors thought it was ridiculous but agreed
The next day he went into immediate surgery & they removed his heart
He told his girlfriend to meet him at the hospital & he would give her his heart & she would know that he loved her
That was the plan
Then it would all finally work out
But he was unaware that she only agreed to meeting him because she wanted to break up with him
She never cared for him she used him for all those expensive gifts
He was so in love with her & had no idea about her motives so it was perfect for her but now she had enough
She couldn't play this game anymore she got everything she wanted & now she wanted to be with someone she really cared for
He came down to the lobby & he felt so weak
He walked up to her
She was startled when she saw him
She had not expected him to look so frail & pale
He seemed very excited to give her something that was in a very bloody box
He weakly handed her the box
She looked at him like he was insane
She wanted to know what was in the box but the blood made her feel uneasy
She opened the box after he became very anxious
As she looked at the heart he smiled
He was proud of him self
He felt like this was it THE GIFT OF LOVE & she would finally know that he really cared for her
Then, she laughed at him & said your such a fool
He couldn't believe it
His body then fell to the floor
He couldn't believe that after all he went through she just laughed in his face
He thought it couldn't get any worse & then it did
She stared down at his body & said I am in love with someone else
I came here to tell you
I cant believe you really removed your heart
Your so stupid
Then her new boyfriend came over
She showed her him the ridiculous gift & they both laughed
That is when she stomped on his heart & then they both spit on it
It was definitely the worst day of this poor mans life
Then he died
He went to heaven & saw God
God said I cant believe you went that far, for a WOMAN
How could you make such a mistake?
I hope you learned your lesson
You died for love
The worst part is that it was a one way love
She didn't even like you
Now that's bad

This is why I'm hot

Hailey went into an online chat room to meet new people.
She knew that it was unsafe & that her parents would be very upset but she didn't care
She so desperately wanted a boyfriend & she didn't care
She knew that she was smart & that she would be careful
She would make up a name & not tell him personal information
She had it all planned out
Her name would be Leslie & she was a 18 year old girl from long beach
Who had long blonde hair down to her waist & loved long walks on the beach & watching the sunrise
So she went into a chat room for romance & there were many people in there
She was so excited but she didn't know what to say
There was a long conversation going on about love & she decided to participate
But her comments were ignored
She felt so disappointed
She left the chat room & just as she was about to turn off the computer she received a message
It was from someone that was in the chat room with her
The screen name was: This is why I'm hot
The message read:
Hey my name is Brian & I saw you in the chat room want to talk?
Hailey felt so excited
She immediately responded & said I would like very much to talk to you.
So then they talked for what felt like forever
They talked about everything & seemed to share a lot of the same interests
After several hours of talking he asked when they could meet
She was so eager to meet him
So she said how about tomorrow at Starbucks
It seemed like a great idea because Starbucks is a public place & she felt that she would have no problems
She thought that she was unlike those other people who met people they don't know at their houses or at an unsafe places
Hailey felt like everything she was doing was so different & that they made silly mistakes & that she was making intelligent decisions
But this was a big step & a very dangerous one
Hailey then ended her eight hour conversation with Brian so fulfilled & happy
Just as she was turning off the computer her brother Justin came in her room
He looked at her face & saw how happy she was
Justin was her older over protective brother
He looked over at Hailey & saw her smiling ear to ear
He asked "why are you so happy"
Hailey wasn't about to tell him the truth, she knew he would disapprove
So she lied & said that her best friend Georgina had told her a funny joke that he wouldn't understand
He brushed it off & told Hailey that he was concerned with her going online & talking to people she didn't know.
Hailey tried to act like she cared & said OK thank you I am going to bed now
She wanted him to go away so she could think about that wonderful conversation she just had with Brian
She stayed up for hours reliving the whole conversation
The next day she woke up after only a few hours of sleep
She couldn't wait to go online & see if he was on
She checked her buddy list & she got so excited when she saw that Brian was online
He instantly messaged her & her heart skipped a beat
He said: I was waiting for you to come on. I was thinking about you all night I cant wait to see you. What time can we meet? I hope to see you soon I don't want to wait too long I am quite anxious.
She could barely type back because she was so happy, she couldn't believe he felt the same for her
All she could think about was the idea of possibly having a boyfriend
It was all coming true
So she wrote back saying that she get ready now & meet him at Starbucks in 20 minutes
He responded & said great I cant wait
Hailey got dressed in her best clothes & decided not to tell anyone where she was going
As far as her parents were concerned she was still sleeping
She put pillows under her covers to form a body-like structure
She escaped out her window & went to Starbucks
As she walked in the store she saw several good looking boys
She approached all of them, none of them were Brian
After 15 minutes of waiting her heart felt like it fell into her stomach
Her brother Justin was walking in to Starbucks
She attempted to hide but it was too late
He saw her
He screamed "Hailey what are you doing here?"
Hailey replied "I lost my ring yesterday, I thought I left it here"
Justin looked at her & she knew he didn't believe her
It was the most ridiculous excuse
Then she asked him "what are you doing here?"
His response made her weak in the knees
He said "I am waiting for my friend Leslie, I was suppose to meet her here. She is my friend from Long Beach."
Hailey knew instantly that it was too ironic & that her brother was 'Brian' & that they had been talking online
She felt so sick to know that she fell in love with 'Brian' meanwhile that was her brother
She never told Justin the truth

belly of the beast

It was the most gruesome scene any of them has ever seen. After looking at it for more than a few seconds people would have to look away. It was just too horrific to look at for an elongated time. The blood spilled all over, bones, & the torture that was obviously done to create such a terrible scene. Everyone gathered to see what was all the commotion. Even the most courageous & confident men & women could not handle getting too close to the remains of body parts & blood. The smell was beyond horrendous. But it was the look on the peoples face who were murdered that caused such disgust to all of the towns people. Someone had to be completely insane to do such a thing to two innocent people. Everyone knew the Draco family, they were good people. They went to all of the neighbors parties & seemed like such happy people. No one could understand how this happened to them & why they would have been tortured to death. No one could believe that they were killed & the most shocking part was that the murder scene was so public. The Draco's were sprawled out in front of their home in the middle of the street. The scary part was that no one heard any noise the night that the Draco's has been murdered. No screams or any loud sounds were made. This made the murder even more suspicious. The next day all of the towns members were stirring about. All the women gathered in the afternoon to gossip & try to come up with suspects. As they were talking amongst themselves & then it occurred to them that Martha Sanderson had been missing from the congregation. Everyone had seen her the day before the murder & now she was no where to be found. A few of the women then decided to go to Martha's house, no answer. As they peered through the window they saw all of her stuff in the home was gone. She must have fled during the night, the night the Draco's were murdered. Everyone then suspected that Martha was indeed the murderer. Although she seemed like a wonderful woman no one really knew her, she kept to her self. Making it more evident that she was the murderer. What why did she do it? No one could understand why, the Draco's were so caring. Everyone adored them. The police wanted to search for more evidence before deciding whether she was the murderer. The police broke down Martha's door & didn't find anything. All of her furniture was gone, the place was spotless. Just as they were about to leave the poloce noticed a hidden door that went to a dark basement. There they found blood spilled all over. After several tests it was proven to be the blood of the Draco's. It appeared that Martha was definitely the killer but it wasn't true. No one knew this but Martha had been framed. One of the neighbors of the town blackmailed Martha & forced her to flee the country & made it seem as though Martha was guilty. Only Martha & the true killer ever knew this information. All of the towns people just assumed that Martha was the killer, not knowing that the killer was still amongst them.

past, present, future

Why do we keep thinking about the things we could have done or should have done.
Stop reminiscing about the past, for that is all over now.
We are in the present & should look into the future.
We should dream, hope & strive.
Stop living in the past.
The present time is a present, a gift.
We are so lucky to have the gift of a brand new day.
Not everyone wakes up from their sleep.
Most people believe that we all have a fate.
Some of our fates don't lead toward another day of life.
So we should quit being so angry & start appreciating life.
We should live life to the fullest.
End those thoughts about how much we missed out on.
Start planning your life from now.
Wasting time on the past is just irrational.
Think about the present time & things that you would like to do in the future.

Sleep

I don't know what to write anymore.
I really need to keep up with my blogging but I have been neglecting to do so.
Friday night was really great, but Mike Russo doesn't want to hear about that.
Friday was just too cutesy & fun, which is boring in his eyes.
So I will spare him of my lovely time.
I bring this up because, I had so much fun Friday night that I did not go to be until 2:30 am.
Then I woke up officially at 6am.
Shockingly I felt fine, kind of energetic.
I don't recall ever having such a minimal amount of sleep in my life.
I guess that having only a few hours of sleep & not feeling exhausted is just one of the perks of being young.
I could be wrong, but I am quite certain that I am right.
My mom was up until 12am on Friday & she was exhausted & then she woke up at 9am & she was still tired.
But I had a full day on Saturday & I felt fine.
Even as it was getting late, I didn't feel that tired.
Even though I had about 3 hours of sleep & was quite active the whole day.
But then I went to bed at 12 am & I felt like I was dead.
I woke up at 2am & felt so tired, I felt almost paralyzed.
I could barely open my eyes or move.
I went right back to sleep & fell into a very deep sleep.
Then I awoke at 8:30 am, I still felt tired so I just decided to relax.
Its ironic that I felt so tired after several hours of sleep instead of feeling refreshed.
I guess I was a lot more tired than I thought with only 3 hours of sleep the previous night.
So I realized that sleep is very important, I always knew that but now I verified it.
I realized that this blog was quite boring but I didn't know what else to write about.
I needed to keep up with my blogs & this was all I could think of.

jealousy

Why cant you be happy for me.
You told me that you were happy as long as I was happy.
You continue to contradict your self & I just cant stand it anymore.
Make up your mind.
You cant even look at me in my eyes.
The way you are acting is so obvious because I know you so well.
The only reason I know you so well is because I care for you so much & it matters to me.
Your feelings really mean so much to me & that is why this is bothering me so much.
It hurts me to know that you are hurting.
You refuse to tell me your feelings & express your discontent with the current situation.
Stop pretending everything is OK & blow it off everytime I try to talk to you about it.
I don't know why but I know you want all of my attention but your being selfish.
You don't want me to pay attention to anyone other than you & you need to get over that, it is so selfish.
I would never do that to you.
I don't understand you why cant you just let me know the truth.
Quit lying to my face & say that everything is fine because I know that its not.
I know you better than anyone else & it really bothers me that you continue to put on this facade.
What makes me most frustrated is how you make it so that I have to tell you exactly how I feel & yet you wont tell me how you really feel.
Why does it have to be this way?
It doesn't make sense & its just absurd.
Everyone says its because your jealous & that you cant handle me giving anyone else attention but you.
This is highly offensive to me because you should know how much you mean to me & not feel threatened by anyone else.
Why cant you let me be & enjoy my life.
I want that for you, I want you to be happy & enjoy your life.
I would never be jealous of your girlfriend, I would want you to be happy.
It just doesn't seem logical.
I only want the best for you why cant you feel the same for me?
I really hope that everyone else is wrong about your feelings, but I am starting to think that they are right.
I wish you could be the bigger person & express your TRUE feelings to me & quit lying.
I see it in your face when you look into my eyes, you look at differently.
You use to look at me with a twinkle in your eye, but now your hurt.
This confuses me.
It makes me feel like you expect an apology for not giving you all of my attention.
You cant look at me the same because you find it hard to forgive me for doing this to you.
It pains you to know I found someone else.
By the way, I found out the truth.
I know exactly how you feel, your family told me.
They called me & expressed how hurt you were.
I know that you cry at night & think about me everyday & it kills you that I moved on.
I cant understand why your letting it get to you like this.
I really wish that you will stop being so immature & not let this affect you like it has.
I am not worthy of all this fan fair.
We really need to talk, I know that it will help but you just refuse.
Its absolutely ridiculous.
I refuse to deal with this any longer, its all a game & were not children.
I expected more from you.
I never thought that you would act so childish, maybe you really are jealous.
I can not come up with any other conclusion.

Music

There’s more to music than just the pretty sound you hear over the radio, it’s the inhibition from within.
A strong and powerful beat is enough to get it started.
A sound from afar, birds chirping in the air,
The rhythm that gets our feet moving; the way our fingers tap to the beat
A vibrance that fills one’s within
The noise above the chaos, a pleasant noise transformed into a beautiful melody
Your heart beating faster as the tempo increases
The freedom to express one’s emotions through music
A new dimension; a whole new world where you can find inner peace
The calamity found through music is like the sound of the ocean breeze.

SO WHAT!?

Inspired by the song "So what" by pink.
I was listening to this song & this is what I think. I feel like people are constantly judging others its so annoying, but we all do it. I cant stand how people judge me without knowing me & assume that I am conceited. This couldn't be further from the truth, I am actually quite insecure. Then people who may have just met me say that I am too happy all the time. It is very frustrating, I feel that its a rude comment & tell me what is wrong with being happy. Should I walk around angry at the world & be mean to people? That seems like a valid way to live life. Why would anyone want to be like that? I know that is an exaggeration but I think its ridiculous that I should have to be less happy. I love my life & so I am a happy person. A select few of people that I have met say that I am too happy so that means that I should change? I don't want to change for anyone, especially for these people that I barely know that made this comment. I am who I am & I shouldn't have to change especially that its a good quality: being too happy. It is absolutely absurd.
It has been said that we all have a dark side, why should I have to expose my dark side to everyone. I really don't see the reason. People that are unhappy all the time & that reveal their dark side are talked about by others & they say wow what an angry person. I refuse to be someone that I am not, i will make sure that I am not ever that person that others talk about negatively. If people talk badly about me & say she is too nice I think that is absolutely insane. That is so ridiculous. Therefore I will continue to smile & be the happy person that I am. There is no reason for me to become a vile human being, I think that there are too many people like that in this world. I really don't understand why certain people make such an issue about me being too happy. That is who I am & if you don't like it I don't care. I don't need anyone like that in my life. I have the best friends & family that love me exactly how I am. So I say you think I'm too happy, so what!? I don't care, that is who I am. Things make me unhappy & I can get mad but I don't see why that side to me has to exposed. I am an overall happy person & want everyone to know that. I will not be anyone that I am not.

understanding lil wayne

I was listening to lil waynes new album & I have no idea what he is talking about, I will try to analyze what he is talking about.

"Two tables and a mic, tell the Dj run it back, im back on my grizzy,Young money where ya at?,If you play with Young Money,Young Money where you at? Like the energizer bunny with a battery pack, boy that drummer keep drummin, like B-r-r-at-at-at-tat,Or B-r-r-rump-bum-bum-bum, and Im so young but im a Giant like Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum, Just bought a new crib, inside so dumb, got some money put away, in case the hurricane come"

This is an odd way to start off a song, I find it very confusing. He is talking about his (grizzy) money. Young money is referring to people who know how to make money, he gives them a shout out. Then he talks about the energizer bunny what is the relevance? very weird. he then makes the noise the energizer bunny makes which is funny unique & interesting. Then he sounds like a giant which is quite odd but intriguing. He discussed buying a new home & how he saved money. It all seems so random.

"Take notes when im talkin, smooth as a cruise boat floats when im walkin, I, when im on the phone wit girls man the money keep callin, you aint satisfied till ya son'll be callin, tellin you where to leave the money in the mornin, Ok you wanna zombie move instead."

He says people should take notes when he is talking, he suggest that he talks smooth like a boat that floats on the waters. When hes talking to women the money seems to be calling as well. Yet again he is random, he discusses how people wont be satisfied until their son is calling & asking for money that he needs in the morning. Then he talks about a zombie, talk about random & confusing.

"Threw the pencil and leaked the sheet of the tablet in my mind cause I don't write stuff cause I ain't got time cause my seconds, minutes, hours go to the almighty dollar and the almighty power"

He doesn't have time to write things down because he is making money. is it just me or is this confusing? lol idk what hes talking about.

"Call me want chick call me on my sidekick never answer when its private damn I hate a shy chick don't you hate a shy chick and she ain't shy no mo' she changed her name to my chick"

Don't call lil wayne if your number is restricted because he wont answer & he doesn't like shy girls. He knows how to make a shy girl change though, which is very interesting. I don't think I want to know how he changes these shy girls lol.

"If you wanna leave be my guest, you can stop feeling irreplaceable listen to beyonce but ok ill put you out on your bday now if you rocking with weezay bedroom in the bank, baby we safe i got game like E.A. but i wanna let you play and dont i treat you like suflai dont i look at you like a i see a new day and dont i do ,what i do say im threw talking."

Irreplaceable is Beyonce's song. He is saying its ok for his girlfriend to leave him, he would leave her on her birthday because she replaceable. He said his bedroom is the bank & that they are safe. He states that he is competitive like the sports video games, ea games. He would let her play the game & wouldn't neglect her & that he really cares for her. Then he has finished talking to her. It is very confusing & barely makes sense to me lol.

"I need a Winn-Dixie Grocery bag full of money Right now to the VIP section You got Young Mula In the house tonight baby. Got money And you know it Take it out your pocket and show it. Throw it."

He has a bag full of money & decided to throw it around, not a wise thing to do. He wants everyone to this, again not a wise thing to do lol.

"Now I was bouncing through the club She loved the way I did it but I see her boyfriend hatin' like a city cop Now where your bar at? I'm tryna rent it out And we so bout it bout it Now what are you about? DJ show me love He say my name when the music stop Young Money Lil Wayne Then the music drop I make it snow I make it flurry I make it out back tomorrow don't worry Here we go one for the money Two for the show Now clap your hands if you got a bank roll"

He went to the club & a girl admired him but her boyfriend was jealous. Lil wayne wants to rent out the bar, random. The DJ says lil wayne when the music stops. Apparently Lil wayne's other job is mother nature he can make it rain & snow lol. Then he yet again! Randomly discusses clapping your hands. Very odd.

my favorite things

Paris Hilton perfume: In my opinion it is one of the best perfumes I have ever smelled. The combination of scents work so well together it creates a sweet, sophisticated and rich smell that I absolutely love. I only wear it on special occasions because I think it is a special.
Lil wayne Album: In my opinion lil wayne has resurrected rap music. His latest album has been a great success. He is definitely one of my favorite rappers right now, I really enjoy his songs and his unique style.
My gold high heels: these heels are my favorite, I think they define me as a person. These shoes sparkle and are a lot of fun, just like me. I think that they are the most beautiful shoes I have ever seen.
Louis Vuitton bag: My mom bought me this bag when it first became popular a few years ago, it was one of the greatest gifts I have ever received because I wanted it so much and it was my dream to have this bag. I have some amazing gifts but this bag will always be dear to my heart because I knew how hard it was to get this bag.
My ipod: also known as MY LIFE. I love my ipod I am very attached to it. It really defines me as a person, it has all of my most favorite songs on it and I think it puts me in a better mood. No matter how I am feeling my ipod can always make me feel better. It offers sad, romantic, upbeat, happy, angry and any other emotion I am feeling in a song. I love my ipod it is one of my most favorite things.
My phone: I love my phone, I think cell phones are so amazing. I love to listen to songs on my phone and talk to my friends. I do not know what I would do without my phone, as you can tell I am very attached.
Lip gloss: It sounds ridiculous but it is very important. Even if I don't have on any makeup lip gloss is essential. Nothing is worse than having dry lips, lip gloss especially mine are so glittery and amazing.

the horror

IT was disgusting. Beyond ugly. Sickening to look at at or even be near. Definitely the worst thing anyone had ever seen in their lives. The most ironic part was that IT thought it was beautiful. IT didn't care what anyone else thought about it. IT was not a human but an unknown creature. Which in all humans eyes made IT seem even uglier because no one had ever seen anything like it before & IT was very ugly. IT called it's self Queen. IT was very obviously very immodest. No one could possibly understand why IT was so confident borderline conceited. IT was covered with warts & hair on its face. IT's teeth were corroded & had bugs growing all over it's body. IT was filthy because IT never showered. It smelled like a rotting corpse, yet IT loved it's smell. IT was a total mess, it drooled & dressed like a total slob. When ever IT would enter a room everyone would look at her & have a look of horror on their face. Some people actually fainted by the sight & smell of IT. Everyone decided to call IT the horror because IT was so horrific. They couldn't stand IT, she was just so ugly, conceited & awful. So all the towns people gathered & decided to kill IT.

A time in my life when I was not happy

I am a generally happy person, but life isn't always wonderful. I really do love my life but sometimes there are disappointments. A time that I can remember being unhappy involved someone that I love very much. I thought of this person as a role model & I was very close with this person. This person in my eyes was so great but then this person disappointed me. At first it was shocking because I never thought that this person could make a mistake. Then I thought about it & said we all make mistakes, were only human. I convinced myself that this person didn't mean to hurt me & that it was only an accident. But I was quite disappointed & tried to overlook the fact that I was hurt but couldn't. But then it happened again, I was even more crushed the second time because I convinced myself it wouldn't happen again & that it was an accident. I learned this person wasn't who I thought they were, I held them at a higher standard & thought they were something that they weren't. I was young at the time & naive. I didn't realize that looks can be deceiving, the person that I idolized had many flaws & was not a good role model at all. This person was the opposite of everything that I once thought. This person ended up being an angry person & everything that I saw was a facade. It was all a phony act. This person had many problems & it all came as a surprise to me because I believed what I saw on the exterior but emotionally this person was unstable & unhappy. It was very upsetting & I was upset with myself for not knowing, but the truth was that I was too young to know. I find that when I see this person rarely all the hurt & disappointment I had when I was a child comes back. I feel bad because it wasn't the persons fault it was mine. I was wrong about that person, I didn't know the truth. Truth is nobody is perfect & I am not mad at this person I feel bad for her. She had a hard life & that is why she is the way she is. No one should judge her, I was just devastated being so young, naive & disappointed to know that she wasn't who I thought she was.

Inspiration

My grandfather Richard inspires me because he overcame many obstacles in his life. He grew up very poor & was forced to start working at a very young age. When he was only ten he had several jobs including shoe shining & helping out his father, who owned a barber shop. His father always told him that he wanted him to go to college & become a police officer. It was his fathers dream & he wanted his son to be prosperous & live his dream. But that was not what my grandfather wanted to pursue, his dream was to become a famous singer. In his free time my grandfather would go to sing at clubs, where he became widely known. One day at the club he was approached with a record deal, but he declined. My grandfather would have agreed but he knew that was not what his father wanted. So my grandfather continued going to school & attempted to balance his several jobs & singing at the club. After graduating college my grandfather was forced to leave all his dreams of stardom behind him, he joined the army & went to war to fight for our country. After several years he returned home from war. He had a story to tell & war really changed him. He had a new outlook on life & really a new appreciation for life. He decided that he wouldn't waste any time so he started working in Brooklyn as a police officer, although it wasn't a career he really wanted he ended up liking it. His days of becoming famous were over but the officers found out he was a singer & they asked to sing at the police functions. After singing at several police functions it seemed like everyone knew who he was. My grandfather is now widely known in Brooklyn as the handsome & talented police officer. Even though he is retired everyone knows his name. His fathers dream came true, his son became a prosperous police officer & my grandfather got to sing at functions which some what satisfied him. Although my grandfather was doing very well as far as making money he is still the same person, the little boy who worked several jobs to help his family, he is & always will be poor at heart. He said:"No matter how much money I have in my pocket I will always be poor in my heart." I have no idea what he has been through, he really struggled & worked so hard to help out. That is why my grandfather is my inspiration. He has seen just about everything life has to bring & I have learned so much from him. He has truly changed my life & made it so much better.

my favorites

1. What is your favorite word?
Love. I know a lot of people think its corny but in my opinion it is the best word when used properly. If someone says they love you & they mean it, its the most wonderful feeling.
2. What is your least favorite word?
Hate. Its a mean word & can really hurt if someone says that to you. The complete opposite of love.
3. What turns you on, excites, or inspires you creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
I would say that my boyfriend, my best friends & family inspire me & makes me very happy.
4. What turns you off?
Cockiness. I cant stand a person who is conceited & too proud.
5. What sound or noise do you love?
I love hearing people sing (people than can actually sing well lol). It puts me in a tranquil mood. I love hearing a choir warm up, its the most beautiful sound, in my opinion.
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Screaming. It is a very scary noise & usually means something is wrong.
7. What is your favorite curse word?
B*tch... lol... long story here's a short interpretation. I just love the way certain people say it.( I don't want this to come off the wrong way) I don't like when people use this word in a negative way. I love when they use it in a harmless way: example the song gimme more by Britney Spears I love how she says: it's Britney B*tch lol.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I would love to become famous; sing & act.
9. What profession would you absolutely not like to participate in?
The medical field, it is an important field but I am not mentally strong enough to participate in that profession. It just is not for me, it would never work.
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Come in. You were a good person & you may enter.

The last farewell

A caravan of mourners arrive.
Everyone gathers around the grave, though they do not acknowledge each other, it is after all a solemn occasion.
My friends, my family, my child & even my enemies bid farewell one last time.
Dozens of red roses lie neatly beside the grave, where the priest is now silent.
Each person steps forward, picks up a rose & tosses it on the grave.
It is horribly cold.
Snow lies scattered in patches on the ground.
Beneath the dirt is half frozen.
The priest waves his hand over the coffin in the traditional catholic gesture.
The priest begins the eulogy.
None of the mourners are listening.
Each are thinking of their own private memories.
One person remembers the bad times.
Another is filled with tears thinking of loving memories.
My child goes through the motions of the ceremony because it is what is expected of her.
If she could hear my thoughts I would plead with her not to be harsh with her memories: being weak, fallible, therefore human.
The service is over.
The grave diggers are left to lower the coffin.
The crowd starts to drift away & I want to yell after them: Hold your tears, for I feel no pain.
My body wrapped in this wooden cocoon is no longer a part of me.
My soul has separated & risen above it, hopefully to someplace easier & better.
I float higher & higher.
Bless me father for I have sinned...

dio come ti amo-god how much I love you

Luciana & John had been together for 20 years. They had their share of fights but their love seemed to be endless. Sadly, John was notified that he had to go overseas to fight for his country. Luciana understood the importance of her husband fighting for their country but she could not bare the thought of something happening to him. She knew it was something that he had to do, so she had to learn to be optimistic & go with the flow. Luciana tried to make the best of the last days with her husband. It just seemed so devastating to know that her husband was going away & may never come back. She was so worried. Although she never told him how she felt, he knew. But it was something he had to do, in honor of his country. The next day John left. His parting words to his wife were:"dio come ti amo." which mean:god how much I love you in Italian. Luciana was so affected by his words, she would never forget him & his words. She also knew that he meant what he said & she felt the same. Luciana felt as though her life was no longer worth living. She fell into a deep depression, which she did not expect. Although the days seem to pass ever so slowly in Luciana's mind, she seemed to recuperating. After a month Luciana slowly moved on with her life & was adjusting. Although she did worry that she had not heard from him, but she remained positive. Several months had passed & still no word on John. She wasn't panicking, she was actually very calm. She had met a man named Carmine at the grocery store, he asked her out on a date & she said yes. They seemed to have a lot in common & she wanted to get John off her mind, so it seemed like a great idea. Although it had only been a few months Luciana had given up hope on John returning. She went on several dates with Carmine & they seemed to really hit it off. After 3 months they decided to get married, Luciana was elated with her new husband. It had been a year since John had went away, she never heard from him & just assumed he would never return. On a Sunday afternoon Luciana received a call saying that John was in critical condition & would not make it. She was in shock. Her whole day was ruined, she could not believe that he was alive all this time & now he was dying. Carmine tried to console her but it only made her feel even worse, she felt guilty she found love with someone else & had given up hope on John. After several hours of sobbing the door bell rang. Carmine answered it, it was John. Carmine knew right away but John had no idea who Carmine was. They got acquainted & John was devastated that Luciana moved on. John was so frustrated he was fighting the war with Luciana on his mind, he was going to make it home to her & then everything would be worth while. But she didn't wait for him, his fear became a reality. He lashed out breaking everything in sight. Luciana heard the noise & ran downstairs to see what was all the commotion. When she saw John she fainted, she could not believe her eyes. She woke up & realized that it was all a dream.

how cliche`

Here are some of my favorites lyrics from my favorite artists & have put it together to create a poem out of it:
I know there’s something in the wake of your smile, I get a notion from the look in your eyes. you’ve built a love but that love falls apart your little piece of heaven turns too dark. Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you, there’s nothing else you can do. I don’t know where you’re going and I don’t know why but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye. Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worth while the precious moments are all lost in the tide, they’re swept away and nothing is what is seems. The feeling of belonging to your dreams. (DHT)
I heard he sang a lullaby, I heard he sang it from his heart. When I found out thought I would die, because that lullaby was mine. I heard he sealed it with a kiss, he gently kissed her cherry lips. I found that so hard to believe, because his kiss belonged to me (Toni Braxton) I know that when you look at me theres so much that you just dont see. But if you would only take the time, I know in my heart youd find a girl whos scared sometimes who isnt always strong. Cant you see the hurt in me? I feel so all alone (W.Houston)
I'll be so alone without you, maybe you'll be lonesome too. Maybe You'll be lonesome too and blue (bob dylan)
I never had to say goodbye, you must have known I wouldn't stay. While you were talking about our life. You killed the beauty of today forever and ever. Life is now or never. Forever never comes around. Forever's gonna slow you down. You'll never see me again. So now who's gonna cry for you? You'll never see me again. No matter what you do. (September)

Dangerous thoughts

My name is Janette Di Sposa.
I am a 28 year old female from Italy & this is my story:
It was a Monday night, I got home from work very late.
I was extremely tired & went straight to bed.
I closed my eyes & thoughts came rushing to my mind.
Unpleasant thoughts try to take over.
I try to brush them aside.
But these foul thoughts take over my mind & body & I fall into a new world.
I open my eyes & look at my new horrifying surroundings.
It is by far the scariest place.
I think its a nightmare, but I realize that I am not dreaming.
I pinch myself, which verifies this is reality.
I am surrounded by darkness & scary creatures.
I do not know what to do.
I attempt to look for an exit but only find things that frighten me.
A scary creature that seems to some what resemble a man & bear stares at me.
I try not to pay any attention to it but he approaches me.
He asks what I am doing here & where did I come from.
I told him I had no idea what happened, one minuted I was in my bedroom & then I ended up in this place.
He said that he would help me.
I made the mistake of trusting him, I should have known better.
He took me to a hidden castle.
He told me to stay in this very dark room & that he would be back in a few minutes.
After several hours I realized I had made a mistake by trusting him.
But it was too late to think of what I could have & should have done.
I got myself in this predicament & I needed to find a solution.
I found a window & attempted to break it.
As I was escaping an army of creatures notice me & chase after me.
They catch me & lock me up in this dungeon.
I have been stuck in here for days now I don't know if I will ever make it out of here.
I found this paper & I am writing this in my lip pencil.
In case I don't make it I wanted to write down what happened to me in hopes that someone reads this.
I just ask one favor, please tell my family that I love them & do not feel sorry for me.
Unfortunate things happen & I want them to live their lives to the fullest.
Never take life for granted, enjoy every day as if it is your last.

Not the typical happily ever after story

The End.

And they did not live happily ever after.

They were struck by the truck & died instantly.

These two lovers would not see another day.

They tried to get out of the way but it was too late their fate was already determined.

The truck seemed to be getting closer, because the noise was getting louder.

They heard a truck coming closer to them although they could not see it.

They walked down a winding road fearful of what could happen to them, they both knew it was very dangerous but they didn't care because they had each other.

It was so dark outside that they could not really see where they were going.

After their romantic day was over they walked home.

After several hours of talking, they realized they were so compatible & meant to be together.

They decided to celebrate being newlyweds with a romantic walk in the park followed by a picnic.

They didn't care what anyone had to say, they both loved each other & nothing else mattered.

Everyone expressed their opinions, saying that Antonella & Micheal were making a big mistake taking things so quickly.

Since they both agreed that they were meant to be together forever they got married instantly.


Everything seemed to be so perfect & they knew the second they locked eyes they were meant to be together, forever.

When Antonella & Micheal first met each other the sky was blue & the weather was beautiful.

They dated many people but none of those relationships were what they hoped for & dreamed of.

They seemed perfect for each other.

Nothing else seemed to matter to them.

Their wedding day seemed to be the most important day of their lives.

Since Micheal was a child he knew what type of ring he would give his bride & what color suit he would wear to his wedding.

She knew what decor she wanted & what dress she & her bridesmaids would wear.

Antonella had been planning her wedding since she was 5 years old.

This story is about two people who were searching for love their whole lives & just when they were about to give up they met & knew they found their happily ever after.

This story begins at the end.

This story does not begin just like any other story, in fact this story is very different from the other fairy tales.

The Man

She stood there staring into the darkness oblivious to all that was around her.
Her limp body then fell to the ground & she broke down into tears.
She knew that the darkness would not judge her & that she could completely let herself go.
She always tried her hardest, gave it her all but it was never good enough.
In the middle of her mental breakdown the phone rang.
It echoed in her head.
She could barely pick herself off the floor to answer the phone.
She was curious to know who was calling but she didn't really care she was hurt & nothing else seemed to matter.
But the endless echoing of the phone ringing in her head caused her to wipe away the tears, pull her self together & answer the phone.
Her voice cracked as she said: "hello?"
It was him.
She might as well have been stabbed in the back.
Her body fell cold & numb.
He responded "Jen. I need you, come back."
She was in such shock she could not respond.
She didn't think she was in control of her body or mind but some how she was able to hang up the phone.
She was completely shattered after all that had happened, but that phone call put her over the edge.
She sat in the darkness no longer in tears, she sat back with a look of venom on her face.
She wished the worst on him.
She sat there all day, wishing the worst on him & rethinking all that he had said & done to her.
She couldn't sleep & she knew she was in need of help from a professional
The next day she visited a mental hospital & with the right medication & help she was ready to move on with her life.
After a few weeks the medication & professional help made her feel so much better.
She wanted to celebrate a new beginning by dedicating a full day of pampering to her self.
First she got her hair done, then her nails & then she went shopping for some new clothes.
After a full day of pampering she felt like a new woman, almost forgetting about all the sorrow that she had experienced.
As she walked to her car she heard a familiar voice.
When she turned around to see who the voice belonged to she saw him.
It was the man who caused her all the sorrow, the sorrow that she had forgotten about for a fleeting moment.
All those feelings of depression & hurt came back instantly.
She stared at him in the most evil way & he then asked her "why are you looking at me like that?"
She then took all of the bags of clothes that she had in her hands & started to throw them at him. She started screaming obscenities as she continued to hit him.
She stopped when he fell to the ground, she knocked him out unconscious.
She stared at his body & felt relieved, she got him back for all the pain he had caused her.
She wanted to take one last look at the face of the man who caused her such pain in her life.
As she looked at his face closely, she almost fainted.
Her body could no longer stand she felt so weak.
This was not the man who caused her pain, it was someone else.
They did have similar facial features but she could have sworn it was the man who caused her pain.
She had no idea who this man was & felt terrible for this misunderstanding.
She realized that she needed help so she called the police, after a few minutes of waiting the police arrived.
The police officer walked over to her & he looked just like the man who caused her pain.
She stared at him with a look of horror on her face.
He stared back at her & asked "are you alright?"
She then ran off, she knew it was wrong but she did not care.
As she looked around she felt as though she was surrounded by a world filled with men who looked exactly like the man who caused her suffering.
She ran non stop to the mental hospital & decided to stay there forever & hope to get the help that she needed & never have to worry about seeing his face again.
Little did she know that she would see the face of the man who caused her such pain for the rest of her life.
The man who caused her pain had cursed Jen's life forever because she had betrayed him in a previous life & that was her punishment.